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Toothless Aggression

There seems to be an evolutionary link to everything. Just two days before my long-postponed wisdom tooth surgery, I stumbled upon this article on a Twitter feed, which basically correlates the hunter-gatherer diet to larger mandible size, insinuating that if I had lived a million years ago, I would have had *no* need to get this surgery in the first place, since my jaw would have been roughly the size of Sgt Slaughter’s.

“And *that’s*… an order!”

I had heard many a horror story about the after-effects of the wisdom tooth surgery, the chipmunk cheeks, the post-sedation stupor, the opportunist girlfriend taking advantage of my altered mental status by forcing me to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon while feeding me ice cream with a spoon. For better or for worse, none of this happened, nor did I even need much in the way of narcotics or ice packs.


I had even been planning an all-liquid diet to provide me mostly-paleo calories in the form of coconut milk, squash soup, whey protein shakes, and the occasional spoon of ice cream. But now it’s time to get serious about actually gearing up for a 30-Day Paleo Challenge, starting January 1, which I plan to blog about on a daily basis if I can, complete with recipes and workouts and before-/after- beefcake photos.

Today was “Paleo Practice” day. I munched down a bland grilled chicken and cashew salad at work, washing it down with a couple cups of iced tea. And then, adventures with crockpottery ensued. I had a 12-oz bag of collard greens which had technically expired yesterday, but still looked good, so I dumped it in the slow cooker with 2 cups of chicken broth, a teaspoon of Cajun seasoning, 4 strips of fried bacon, and a pound of chicken breast strips seared in said bacon grease. 3 hours on high and voila:


It needed salt. Lots of it. Slow cooker meals tend to absorb seasoning and break it down. But the chicken was moist and the bacon was flavorful. The greens kept their smoky bite without being too mushy. Giving it a 4/10. I could do better, but for a last-minute kitchen-sink project, it was quite tasty.

I can’t wait to start lifting, but seeing as how I grit my teeth uncontrollably during my heavy reps, and how dripping blood from my mouth onto the Y’s weight plates is probably poor form, I’m waiting for a few more days. What to do in the meantime? Follow the remainder of Mark Sisson’s triumvirate. Lots of walking (with a heavily-loaded messenger bag). Maybe an uphill sprint workout at the park. Or, there’s always burpees. My goodness, it’s been a while.

This week: We continue the hunt for tasty gelato. I investigate savory Paleo pie recipes from across the interwebs. The state of medical research on gluten sensitivity and asthma.



One thought on “Toothless Aggression

  1. Hahaha :-) I have the same issue and I’ll be having exactly the same horror on the same day! You’re not alone ;-)

    Posted by I like boys who wear glasses | December 13, 2011, 6:20 am

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