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Blog Posts, Recipes

How to Hard-Boil an Egg

Alright, it’s been three weeks. I’m still not sure how long I’m going to continue this whole challenge, but we’re throwing a very non-Paleo cocktail party on July 6, so that *might* be a reasonable day to break it. Then again, I do have a hankering for some ice-cream. And I have access to an ice-cream maker, so it’s all about crazy custom ingredients like bacon and pralines, or sea salt caramel, or cinnamon chili and chocolate. I miss dessert and pizza and bourbon, but not as much as thought I would, at least not at this point.

Some people swear that it takes 3 weeks of hard work for a habit to stick, and based on this month, I’d agree with that. I’m eating pretty clean, finding great sources of grass-fed buffalo, local pork, and pastured eggs, and lifting heavy 2-3 days a week. I haven’t sprinted in a while (I’ve convinced myself that it’s yet another leg strength workout that’s going to impede my squat and deadlift progress if I do it on a ‘rest day’), but I *am* going to learn how to swim and use that as a relaxed sub-for-an-evening-walk or occasional sprint interval workout. And try not to drown.

Okay, now to the heart of the matter. Breakfast is time-consuming. I want to savor a few juicy bacon strips nibble-by-nibble, and slither my fork into a plateful of runny scrambled eggs (fried in the bacon grease, of course) with just a kick of jalapeno. Yum. But to give it the proper love takes 15 minutes out of my morning for cooking, 10 for eating, and another 5 to clean up. I just don’t have that kind of time. So I go to my good portable breakfast buddy, the hard-boiled egg. Here is my foolproof way to make perfect eggs every time:

Check that there are no cracks in the eggshells. Put them in a saucepan with enough water to cover them, then put a lid on the pan. Turn the heat up all the way. Once the water comes to a boil, turn the heat down to simmer/super-low. Set a timer for 17 minutes, no more, no less. In the meantime, find a Tupperware container and fill it with ice water. Once 17 minutes hits, drain the water out of the saucepan. Here’s the super-secret trick: while they’re still in the pan, toss the eggs in the air an inch or two, so the shells crack/break against the bottom of the pan when they land. Put them in the ice water immediately and let them rest for 3-4 minutes. This will stop them from cooking, and also dissipate the heat inside the shell, letting the outer membrane solidify/get rubbery and attach to the shell, leaving the egg free and clear (mostly). Now it’s just a matter of removing the shell (which should come off easily.)

Put them in the fridge overnight and they’re ready the next morning. What can you do with hard-boiled eggs? Put them in a salad. Eat them plain. Eat them with salsa, salt and pepper, or Tony’s (all of which are easily portable in a lunch box). If you have time to get fancy, slice the eggs in half, put the yolks in a bowl, mix them with salsa and mashed avocado, and scoop the mixture back in for a dish I call “Diablo Eggs”. And if you’re really crazy, wrap that egg up in ground meat, cover it in almond flour, and fry the fucker.

This monstrosity is known as a Scotch Egg, but it’s roots (as I must brag) are an Indian dish called kofta. Picture dozens of these bad boys swimming in a tomato-garlic sauce.

So if you’re in a rush for a good breakfast in the morning, take some time the night before to boil some eggs. It’ll take a while before you get bored of them.

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